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Under Construction With Bwarsh
Getting healthy, one day at a time! Be empowered. Be motivated. Be inspired.
Thursday, March 9, 2023
Demystifying the Lightning Lane and Standby Lines at Disneyland
Friday, February 24, 2023
Thought I WAS normal, aka Adulting with Autism
When I was a kid (1980's), I was diagnosed with ADD (now ADHD), put on Ritalin, and mom and dad called it a day. While better behaved on the medication, it wasn't a complete fix (obviously). Autism Spectrum Disorder never came into the conversations with the doctors and therapists. We went to family therapy and I was even put into a girls group therapy environment. Mom and Dad would ship me off to grandma's, and then my grandma would call them to take me back. I gave her hives from the stress of not being safe and well, you know... typical behaviors associated with lack of impulse controls, etc. During my childhood I was informed by my mother that I was causing chaos in the family and that she and my dad nearly split up because of me (they didn't). That the chaos was my fault, and if I could just behave, just think before I acted... I think I was a teenager when she shared this. All because I had ADD and I suppose I behaved like I had ADD. I'm going to say it was most likely ADHD impulsive type. I never tossed a classroom, I never had severe tantrums that became physical,
I was addicted to TV, and my Atari (my way of stimming). I stole an April Birthstone ring from JC Penny's because it was pretty and I wanted it. And I proudly wore it. It was probably no more than $5. My mom made me take it back, apologize to the store manager, and told me next time she was going to have me arrested and put into a jail cell. I was 7. Hmmm, maybe my mom got triggered by me.... I drew in wet cement and then signed my full name. I doodled with permanent marker on the walls at a nearby school, and again, left my name because I was proud of my art. They all called it vandalism and I had to do community service. Dad made me pick up trash around the neighborhood.
When I shared with my parents that my son was diagnosed autistic, they read all the books and were engaged to learn more. When I shared my daughter was late diagnosed (she's 16) autistic, they nodded their heads, but didn't seem to really accept it.. she "doesn't look autistic" is what they were thinking. When I shared that I am autistic too, I got nothing from them. Maybe we're just too old now. I'm turning 50 in April, and both of my parents are in their late 70's now.
Also, I'm pretty sure my mom is autistic. She certainly has many of the traits. But when I suggested this to my father, he scoffed and confirmed my mother was NOT on the spectrum. Yet it's known to be hereditary, so...
That declaration stung. I finally understand myself, and it was dismissed. I expected a much different reaction I guess. I decided to research the disorder and research my family history to see where it all originated from. My family are all high achievers. I was the "least" successful as an adult. And yes, I'm coming up on my 50th birthday and yes, I have no idea what I'm going to do for retirement. Which is so sad and pathetic. I feel like I've never really grown up and I'm still a teenager mentally. I mean I'm smart. My entire family is. But I can't seem to get my life in order. It's just a day by day series of figuring things out for my kids before they turn 18 so they will have continued supports in place once adults.
Emotions are a funny thing. I didn't get the reaction or validation I was seeking from my parents. But I did get it from my husband and my children. My sister in law gets it. My brother is slow to come around to an understanding... maybe he's autistic too?
If anything, my being autistic, with both of my kids, has brought the three of us closer together.
And I'm normal! well... normal for me and therefore normal for them. I am happy that I'm finally understanding myself and my self-awareness came because of my children. To me, they're normal too.
Now what? I mean, what do I do with this understanding and self-awareness?
Thursday, January 24, 2019
2e Life - Above the Grade
He is ASYNCHRONOUS! He’s been asynchronous LONG before Covid-19 distance asynchronous learning became a thing. His issues are related to his special needs diagnosis.
When my son was near the end of pre-school we started the IEP Testing process as I wanted to be proactive ahead of his starting kindergarten. I figured if we had the IEP in place it would make a smoother transition from private pre-k to public school. Since then, we have had 3 IEP evaluations with testing. In the first IEP we only knew he had been diagnosed with ADHD. After the 1st round of IEP assessment testing, the assessors determined he did not qualify for an IEP as he was academically advanced. They did grant him a 504 for his ADHD. At the time of the review (5 years and 1 week old), we were told he had a comprehension of an 11-year-old, and he had not even started Kindergarten yet. We were told that he tested with a high IQ score.
There was concern letting him start Kindergarten from us, as he still had not mastered toileting. But we ultimately decided he should go and we would add that into his 504 as an accommodation. When he started kindergarten with that 504 in place, he had a lot of problems in class. Mostly behavior, as he quickly advanced to the top of his class academically in a short amount of time. He basically completed all of Kindergarten required coursework needed to advance to the next grade, in 3 months.
We noticed more issues behavior wise and got a new diagnosis of OCD. In class he struggled with transitions and would lash out. If he did not want to do something, he would throw chairs and scream and pitch a fit. In class he would get stuck in verbal loops repeating himself over and over. If he were at recess and did not want to come in, he would run away. Later we learned that was called “Eloping”. This was a safety issue for him and the others around him. He spent a lot of time in the office during his time in Kindergarten.
I requested a 2nd IEP evaluation. The team did a second round of testing based on the new diagnosis of OCD with Anxiety and again determined he was still academically advanced and did not qualify for an IEP.
Now he has: ADHD with OCD and Anxiety.
Over that summer we did more developmental behavior evaluations and testing with pediatric behavior specialist. At the end of all of that we were told he had ADHD, OCD/Anxiety, plus SPD, DCD/Dyspraxia, and Dysgraphia. He would need behavior therapy, OT, and likely some form of medication.
We transferred him into a new school for 1st grade. After he continued to have behavior issues, we went back to the developmental behavior specialist for further testing. We asked them to test for Autism. After they finished interviewing parents, teachers, and my son in person, the specialist told us he did not meet the criteria for an autism diagnosis and we left with a new diagnosis of ODD, Oppositional Defiance Disorder.
This diagnosis did not seem to fit and we discovered later they leaned into this new ODD diagnosis after speaking with his teacher. She made a strong case that he was being malicious and was targeting victims. That his behavior issues in and outside of the classroom were calculated and on purpose. The teacher determined he was a predator. Due to this, we were not going to get an IEP, because ODD did not qualify. We were told the school could work with him. They created a behavior modification plan. The way that manifested itself was lots of disciplinary actions. He was not allowed to perform in the winter show. He was not allowed to audition for the Spring musical. He was denied recess. He was sent to the office often, and even had a couple of suspensions.
At the beginning of 2nd grade, he was again off to a rocky start. He was sent home early on his 1st day for outbursts. Turned out his shoelaces came undone and he asked his new teacher to tie his shoes. She refused. He got upset. She sent him to her “quiet” corner. He continued being upset. She directed the children to ignore him. That did not help at all. Scenes similar to this was a frequent occurrence. He loved it in class when they talked about something of interest to him. He refused to participate when it was time to change the topic. He often just got up and left class, without permission. One time it was so bad, his class was evacuated by his teacher because they were in fear for their safety. He tossed the classroom many times. He would often sit in the principal’s office trying to calm down from a large outburst. He was out of class a lot.
“The term twice exceptional, often abbreviated as 2e, entered educators' lexicons in mid 1990s and refers to gifted children who have some form of disability.[1] These children are considered exceptional both because of their giftedness (e.g., intellectual, creative, perceptual, motor etc.) and because of their special needs (e.g., specific learning disability, neurodevelopmental disability etc.).” -https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twice_exceptional
That same day he was sent home early, I reached out to the district again and requested a 3rd IEP assessment. I told them that I would not accept being told he is “academically advanced and therefore there is no need" anymore. I added to my request that his safety and the safety of those around him needed to be considered as well.
I tried stepping up my game to set up home play dates with kids close to his age. It was difficult since my son was labeled the "weird kid" by his peers. I tried to get him the help and support outside of school, since the district had informed us that he needs additional supports, and that we were to find it, and fund it ourselves. I continued trying to get the district to better support my son IN SCHOOL too through the 504 he did have.
We took my son to his new psychiatrist. She did a DSM-5 review with him. She determined he DID meet the criteria for Autism. She sent a letter to the district team doing the 3rd IEP assessment. The IEP review team also did their assessment in the shadows. In the shadows, they were able to observe the outbursts, the eloping, etc.
By late fall, he was granted an IEP for autism, and was transferred to another new school that was better suited to help him. Now he will have help and support for his deficits and his advancements. What this will look like in the near future is unknown. This is all still new to us and the district. He has now essentially been classified appropriately. He is now being taught as a 2E student. And now that form of teaching has a new name; 2E.
It's important to SUPPORT these 2E students. 2E students thrive on challenges in their interest areas and abilities.
Playing Chess - 1st grade |
Table Manner Practice |
Reads all the time |
Telling his story ideas with Dav Pilkey |
Learning about chickens, and collecting eggs |
- Encouragement
- Flexibility/Big-Picture learning
- Compensation and accommodations where weaknesses are
- Draw attention to their gifts more than their weaknesses
- Interventions should address both the academic and social emotional needs of 2E students.
- Combination of appropriate levels of challenges programing
There are 3 types of ADHD. My son's is Hyperactive and Impulsive Type.
When people think of impulsivity, they most often think about cognitive impulsivity, which is acting without thinking. The impulsivity of children with AD/HD [ A.D.D. OR ADHD ] is slightly different. These children act before thinking, because they have difficulty waiting or delaying gratification. The impulsivity leads these children to speak out of turn, interrupt others, and engage in what looks like risk-taking behavior. The child may run across the street without looking or climb to the top of very tall trees. Although such behavior is risky, the child is not really a risk-taker but, rather, a child who has great difficulty controlling impulse. Often, the child is surprised to discover that he or she has gotten into a dangerous situation and has no idea of how to get out of it.They thought he had OCD which presents itself for him, in a manner of roadblocks and getting stuck in a loop. It also came with anxiety as well which (at the time we thought) led to outbursts and tantrums.
Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is a disorder in which people have recurring, unwanted thoughts, ideas or sensations (obsessions) that make them feel driven to do something repetitively (compulsions). The repetitive behaviors, such as hand washing, checking on things or cleaning, can significantly interfere with a person’s daily activities and social interactions.
His SPD (Sensory Processing Disorder) presents itself with sensitivity to touch, light, and sound. He is a seeker, and often wants the comfort of pressure. He often has a blanket wrapped around tightly. He hates shoes and socks. Loud noises are upsetting. Sounds we hear normally are much more intensified for him. Bright lights hurt.
Sensory processing disorder is a condition in which the brain has trouble receiving and responding to information that comes in through the senses. A child with sensory processing disorder finds it difficult to process and act upon the information received through their senses via sounds, sights, movement, touch, smell, and taste. It may cause difficulty with gross motor skills, creating a clumsy walking gait or frequent tripping.
A disorder that is characterized by difficulty in muscle control, which causes problems with movement and coordination, language and speech, and can affect learning. Although not a learning disability, Dyspraxia often exists along with Dyslexia, Dyscalculia or ADHD.
Signs and Symptoms:
- Exhibits poor balance; may appear clumsy; may frequently stumble
- Shows difficulty with motor planning
- Demonstrates inability to coordinate both sides of the body
- Has poor hand-eye coordination
- Exhibits weakness in the ability to organize self and belongings
- Shows possible sensitivity to touch
- May be distressed by loud noises or constant noises like the ticking of a clock or someone tapping a pencil
- Irritated by scratchy, rough, tight or heavy clothing
Dysgraphia is a learning disability that affects writing abilities. It can manifest itself as difficulties with spelling, poor handwriting and trouble putting thoughts on paper. Because writing requires a complex set of motor and information processing skills, saying a student has dysgraphia is not sufficient. A student with disorders in written expression will benefit from specific accommodations in the learning environment, as well as additional practice learning the skills required to be an accomplished writer.
These are writing sample from my son with DYSGRAPHIA.
He made this in 1st grade:
and now in 3rd:
His ODD (Oppositional defiant disorder) diagnosis was wrong. We even went to special ODD therapy and it was highly unsuccessful. Probably because he didn't have this one. This has since been corrected and removed.
Symptoms of ODD generally begin before a child is eight years old. They include irritable mood, argumentative and defiant behavior, aggression, and vindictiveness that last more than six months and cause significant problems at home or school.
- Having frequent temper tantrums.
- Arguing a lot with adults.
- Refusing to do what an adult asks.
- Always questioning rules and refusing to follow rules.
- Doing things to annoy or upset others, including adults.
- Blaming others for the child's own misbehaviors or mistakes.
- Being easily annoyed by others.
Updated May 22, 2021
Monday, May 14, 2018
Weather to Walk
But then I came up with an idea and it works great! WALK INSIDE! I drive to the mall or grocery store. It's either heated (winter) and snow and ice free OR it's air conditioned (summer). It's indoors and flat so I can get my steps in. No more excuses.
Malls near my home typically open early for mall walking and grocery stores stay open late for evening stepping. I used to do the loop at the mall, or snake around the aisles at the grocery. It wouldn't take long to get my workout in, and then drive home.
Anyway, this tip/trick helped me, maybe it'll help some of you.
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Wednesday, May 2, 2018
Back Up Plan when Fitbit does not sync to MFP
Sound familiar?
If Fitbit has an update or MFP has an update or in the unlikely event both programs have a simultaneous update, often the result is the disconnect between the two apps.
Which often means your steps aren't being counted on your MFP app. And thus your calorie burn isn't being reflected.
What can you do???
1) Be Patient. This usually sorts itself out.
2) Disconnect the apps and reconnect. Usually this works well. If not.....
3) Uninstall the apps from your mobile device and reinstall then reconnect.
In the MEANTIME....
4) Manually sort out the calorie burn. Using a steps to calorie burn calculator (helpful links below), you can manually add in your calorie burn for the day.
As an example, here's a female that weighs 200 lbs, that did 8063 steps for her day. I rounded down to 8000 from this chart as it's best to be more conservative and plus/minus a couple hundred calories is okay.
STEP 1, select "exercise tab" and click ADD EXERCISE.
- Walking Calculator Steps to Miles: https://www.verywellfit.com/pedometer-steps-to-calories-converter-3882595 and https://www.verywellfit.com/walking-calories-burned-by-miles-3887154
- These are great if your pedometer shows you your mileage. Approximately 2000 steps = 1 mile. Want to be more exact, this link figures out how many steps to a mile based on your actual height! https://www.verywellfit.com/how-many-walking-steps-are-in-a-mile-3435916
- The Calorie Burn Calculator: https://www.healthstatus.com/calculate/cbc This one allows you to choose the activity (pretty extensive list actually), enter the length of time and your weight and it calculates out how many calories you burned.
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Thursday, November 16, 2017
WHY I created the MyFitnessPal Ladies Group on Facebook
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Friday, September 1, 2017
Taking a Hiatus from being a Team Beachbody Coach
What’s going on……
I’m shifting my focus. I plan to continue using Beachbody. I just won’t be selling for a while. I still plan to keep my blog, and my ladies MFP Facebook group. I’m going to stop creating challenge groups for a while, which is why my friend and team member Coach Carrie is taking the lead for now. This way we all continue as a team, and I’ll still be there with you all. She’ll just be managing the posting schedule and when you need to pick something up from Beachbody, we’ll both be able to help you sort that out. In a way, you’re getting two coaches now!
This is Carrie’s Team Beachbody Coaches Page: http://www.beachbodycoach.com/esuite/home/coachcarriev
In about a month, I’ll be turning off my coaching account with Beachbody. I am not changing MLM’s… I am just refocusing.
My coach, recently quit Beachbody to sell another health and fitness product. When she quit, we (all of her clients) got rolled over to her sponsor coach. His name is Keith Callahan. This is his website: http://keithcallahan.com/ He runs a highly successful business, and even has a podcast. Keith is a very successful Beachbody Coach.
By having you all switch to Carrie, you will still get that one-on-one attention we pride ourselves in giving you.
Beachbody won’t let me switch my coach, as I am already a coach, unless I quit and rejoin as a new coach after 6 months. I’m now locked in with Keith; who was my former coaches coach. I do not know this man, and frankly, I love CARRIE. Carrie joined my team a little over a year ago, and she’s fantastic. I would much rather throw the support to her. She’s earned my trust and loyalty.
I will continue to be Carrie’s success partner and continue teaching her everything I know. Our team is a strong one and I’m thrilled to be part of all of your journeys. I have no intention of letting that stop.
When it’s time for me to reactivate my coach account, I’ll also sign up under Carrie, so we will all still be together.
Bottom line, I’d rather not be directly connected to Keith. I don’t know him at all. I think I might have listened to his podcast once. But that doesn’t make him part of my fit-family.
For this month, I am dipping my toe into transitioning. My coach account is still up and running and will remain up for at least all of September. I am planning to STICK AROUND. I am not going anywhere. I’ve been training Carrie, and will continue to work with her. I will continue to work with all of you. Just because I’m not selling a product doesn’t mean my knowledge vanishes. I am still that girl that lost all that weight. And I will still coach you as much as you want/need.
If you choose not to switch to a new coach, when I officially turn in my Beachbody resignation, you will automatically be re-assigned to Keith Callahan. But, by switching your assigned coach to Carrie, when you purchase anything from your Team Beachbody account, she will now get the commission. She will take the lead on running monthly challenge groups, using the My Challenge Tracker app (free app) to manage/organize our challenge groups, as she’s fond of the platform. Otherwise, nothing will change.
I will still admin/run my Ladies MFP group on Facebook. I will still participate in Carrie’s challenge groups. I have given Carrie access to my coach drop box, so my hybrid schedules, recipes, etc. will still be available to all of you through her or through me. If you need something, just ask.
Now… I am taking a mini vacation. I’m flying to Hawaii for a few days next week… BUT, I’m sure I will be online from time to time too… it’s my addiction.
Our September Challenge begins 9/11, on my 5 year anniversary on MFP! Day 1825! Let’s all get enrolled and settled into the new My Challenge Tracker app format in the upcoming days so we’re all set moving forward. If you haven't been invited yet by email, drop your email below and we'll get you invited to join us.
And of course, any questions, please feel free ask.
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