Losing Weight Without Support at Home

Losing weight with your partner. It’s the dream! So many power couples working out TOGETHER and losing weight; getting healthy, together! Sounds amazing right??

So what do you do, when only one of you is on board?

I lost weight and did it on my own. Kind of.

When I started it was going to be me AND my partner. My husband and I were in this together. But that dream died around 2 weeks. I was still all in. He was not.

So HOW do you stay on track when your partner is no longer interested? Or if your partner NEVER was interested?

My TRUE beginning came in the fall of 2012 I was 2 months postpartum and had high blood pressure. I was also around 300 lbs. My husband was having a minor surgery, and I was hanging out at the hospital with my 2 month old son. My daughter was at school; a new kindergartner. We figured he’d be in and out of the hospital in 2-3 hours. No big deal.

But when 3 hours had passed, then 5, then 7… my mind went reeling.

They ran into a complication during his procedure with getting an air tube in him. He had a restricted airway, due to carrying too much weight. After his procedure, his surgeon told me he HAD TO LOSE WEIGHT. He said some people can be heavy and healthy, others no; and that we were in the “other” category. Meaning we needed to “lose the weight or die!”

Yeah, not the news one wants to hear.

It was scary! It hit home hard. What if he died? What if I did? What would happen to our children? I wanted to be a part of their lives. Not a sad cautionary tale.

We decided to do something about it. And we started looking at both Weight Watchers and My Fitness Pal. We opted to try My Fitness Pal first, since it was Free (still is). I figured, if it didn’t work out, we could always try Weight Watchers next. We decided to give it a month. I honestly thought I was eating fine. I thought I was eating well enough. I had my son. He was nursing and thriving. Obviously I was doing great. I was wrong.

I learned that I actually wasn’t eating enough and wasn’t eating frequently enough. I was skipping breakfast, typically ate lunch around 2-3pm, and dinner was often in bed around 9pm. Yes, I ate in bed. All the time!!! I never had snacks. I never felt hungry. And most days I would get around 800-1000 calories. I only discovered this once I started logging it.

My first logs were very telling. And I met with a dietitian and lactation consultant. She suggested I needed to eat more; that I needed a LOT more calories at my size (again, around 300 lbs) and because I was nursing my son.

I logged my first day on 9/11/12. And I logged honestly. Not going to lie, that part was the hardest. Seeing what I was doing. Knowing what I should be doing, but wasn’t. My first month at it, I decided just to be honest. Eat what I was going to eat, but write it ALL down. Some days I was great! And by great, I mean I stayed in my calorie goal. Other days, I’d close up shop and the app told me I hadn’t eaten enough. Ouch! Nothing better than getting lectured by my cell phone! Sometimes I ate too much and didn’t even come close to burning it off, and I saw my goal blown. But all of this was good information. Good intel’. I could see what I was doing so I could make a change! And change I did.

My first month I captured it all, and had it all on record. My first month I focused on logging it. And I nursed my son. Honestly, that was my “exercise”. Since I would burn 500 calories a day from feeding him, I was good! Or so I told myself.

My husband pointed out that logging wasn’t for him, and he slowly logged less and less. I of course would nudge him to stick with it. That became a huge “disagreement”. I felt abandoned. He felt annoyed. He even accused me of cheating on my logging.

That one really pissed me off!!!

My first month I lost 11 pounds. Just from this act of logging it, staying within that calorie goal and burning those 500 breastfeeding calories. So how exactly was I cheating myself? I was losing weight!

Did I eat healthy? Probably not. I remember many TV dinners and many ice cream treats. But I did lose weight. 11 pounds! After that first month I decided I COULD do this. Yes I was angry and hurt that my husband was no longer on board. But I had a significant loss (11 lbs IS significant) and it gave me momentum. I actually was feeling a bit better. Maybe not super physically better, but emotionally I had hit the jackpot.

So how did I make it to this side of the weight loss? Down over 100 lbs? Down 10 sizes? And still happily married???

GOOD QUESTION!

If I couldn’t do this with my husband, it meant I had to do this for ME. And it was time to be selfish.

I did most of the shopping and cooking, so I made sure NOT to bring in to the house the trigger foods I was too weak to say no too.

I continued to log it all, even the (sigh) less then healthy options I would try.

And I found support online.

I found weight loss and healthy living support groups. I found others on similar journeys to my own. I allowed myself to be true and open with these people and in return, they did the same with me. We all shared our experiences. Our workouts. Our recipes. Our rants, and our celebrations.

WHEN bad foods came in as a gift (bought me a delicious coffee beverage loaded with sugar and fat), they went right into the trash!

WHEN we ate out, I ordered off the healthy menu.

WHEN we were visiting family, I filled up my plate of food with veggies first.

WHEN we went to the pot luck, I made sure to bring something “I” would eat.

I stayed FOCUSED. I refused to be railroaded. I refused to just stop.

Again, there was that momentum. Every time I had a weigh in victory, it fueled my inner fire to keep going. Every time I got smaller, and I got to buy smaller clothes; again, it fueled my inner fire. Every time I could keep up with my kids OR they struggled to keep up with me… yup… inner fire time!

So the take away from all this is this: If you feel you’re all alone, and not being supported…

GO FIND YOUR SUPPORT!

Start with me! I’ll support you. I’ll help you find a group of likeminded folks just like you. I run several support groups now. Because I found support, I want to help others find support too.

YOU’VE GOT THIS! And I’m proud of you!!!

Follow me on my Facebook page: fb.com/UnderConstructionWithBwarsh 
Join my Ladies MFP Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/MyFitnessPalLadies.