Tuesday, September 27, 2011

PCOS, what exactly is it? As seen from my own experiences.

PCOS, what exactly is it? As seen from my own experiences.

I’d been on BCP since I was age 18 as a means to control my acne and regulate my periods. After getting married in 2003, I came off the pill, and at first my cycles were still relatively regular. I noticed they progressively got longer and longer… 28 days, 32 days, 37 days, etc. After a few months of trying to get pregnant, I must have begun my anovulatory cycles, but didn’t know what that was or anything about it. I just figured, clearly my period was late, so I must have been pregnant, only to get negative pregnancy tests over and over.

I’d go to my OB, who would have me the pee on a stick – pregnancy test- (aka POAS) at her office, and with the continued negative tests that was it. I wasn’t pregnant. No blood work would be ordered. I was having really heavy flows by then and I was close to 300 lbs, so they chalked it up to I weighed too much.

I learned about temping/bbt from her and started doing it manually on photocopied charts. Then I joined FF (http://www.fertilityfriend.com) in 2004 and kept the data online. I started to notice strange patterns… true anovulatory patterns.







When I went for so long without a period, I was frustrated. The cycle after chart 3 here was a 3 month cycle of continuous bleeding. Can you imagine having period bleeding every day for 90 days??? I did. That freaked me out. After 1 month of my marathon bleeding, I went to see my first RE.

At that point it was clear to her that I had PCOS. She had me do the glucose test, and I failed horribly.

So we discussed “housecleaning” options. We decided to take a year off, go back on BCP to regulate my cycles and hopefully get me to stop bleeding. I had to begin the metformin (ended up at the full dose too – eventually) and I had to lose weight. She sent me to a dietician, and I began my journey to housecleaning.

I was 1 day away from having to have a D&C (scraping of my lining) to force my bleeding to stop. I stopped after 2 BC packs taken double the dose. Hormone hell! Talk about being scared straight.

I stopped temping, because with being on BCP and the housecleaning, I didn’t need too.

Fast forward to 2006. I had lost 70 pounds, and was in the best shape of my life. I had ABS! (sigh, I miss those). My RE and I decided I should come off BCP and see if my cycles had regulated themselves.

If they were still irregular after a 6 month timeframe, we’d go on Clomid.

I stayed on the metformin, but reduced the amount by ½. 2 weeks after my period, I noticed EW cm, and for giggles, I took a temp.

It was pretty low, so WTH, let’s practice right? That night resulted in my daughter.

Here’s that cycle (you’ll notice it’s vastly different):





So my RE was shocked, I was shocked, Craig was NOT prepared, as he was convinced I had 6 months of getting the BCP out of my system, and then we’d begin TTC. So much for planning, right?

I can’t remember what “symptoms” were going back so many years, but I can say that it was quite a journey. Oh, and after I got pregnant with my daughter, the pregnancy pretty much cured the whole PCOS/IR issue.

I’ve been regular to the day ever since.

I do know that 2ww symptoms and pre-pregnancy symptoms are VERY similar, so they tell you nothing. Sore breasts are a result of the progesterone surge in the 2ww that also causes elevated temps.

I finally gave up trying to tell if I was having 2ww or PG symptoms. I just chalked them all up to 2ww symptoms now.

Friday, September 23, 2011

Missing my Alice Rose 9.23.08

Craig and I saw a rainbow on our drive home last night. Today is Alice Rose's 3rd birthday, anniversary from when we lost her in 2008. I'm full of emotion today. Hoping the rainbow is a sign of something greater for us. Maybe the rainbow was just a rainbow. IDK. Feeling melancholy. I miss my baby girl.

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Fair day Fun day

My company had it's annual fair fun day. They treated us all to parking, admission, rides, and lunch. It was a great morning and afternoon! Now I'm home having me time and it's lovely.

See! I'm not *always* complaining. :p

Just been a delightful day.

Will have to head out soon to round up my troops so I'm savoring the quiet right now.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Well, I was in a good mood, then...

I just picked up Craig to take to work and he casually suggested I filter out his family on my FB posts as they are catty and mean, and I shouldn't give them ammo to use against me. Now you tell me, how would that make *you* feel? Guess I'm glad I did *not* go to the funeral. After nearly 8 years of marriage and having been friends since 1993, you'd think by now his family would just get over it and accept me. Poo!

I don't know how to process this information. So you think maybe I should unfriend them all? I just don't know what to do. I mean, am I embarrassing my husband? Or just them? I really don't care what they think or say about me, screw them, right? But now my husband is stepping in and is concerned about them saying mean things about me/us behind our backs.

Monday, August 22, 2011

Why has this weekend been so hard??

What a weekend. yikes. Natalya is handling Craig being gone, by acting out, and driving me insane. I've never been so happy to see a Monday come. And I really LOVE my daughter, but it was indeed a very loooonng weekend. I need to hit the grocery store today, and don't want to have her come and act up at the store, so I think I'm going to leave work an hour before I need to get her, hit the store first.

Maybe a pizza tonight? IDK. I'm running out of the needed energy to keep up with her. lol. Quite an active soon to be 5 year old. And she keeps saying she's sorry. So what am I to do? I have to accept her apology, even though just seconds/minutes later she's doing another naughty act. Sigh.

It's a "challenge". Yeah, that's it.

Anyhow, Craig is due to come back home late tomorrow night. I can not wait. I really am missing him. And not just because Natalya has been a challenge. All I know is I have such admiration for the single mom's and the stay at home moms who are able to engage and care for their child/children solo. Why is it so hard for me? She's only 1 kid! Sometimes I think if she did have a sibling it would actually be easier. Like they could entertain themselves, and I'd just have to referee. Instead, with only one, I get to be the playmate. But when I'm exhausted, I just don't have the energy and patience to "play".

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Karen Ann Booth Salazar Obituary: View Karen Salazar's Obituary by Santa Cruz Sentinel

Thinking of Karen today. A wonderful person, lost too soon. Never to be forgotten. Love and miss you Aunt Karen. You will always be an inspiration, and you will live on in the stories I share with my daughter.


Karen Ann Booth Salazar Obituary: View Karen Salazar's Obituary by Santa Cruz Sentinel

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Karen - You will be missed

Lost a beautiful woman full of life and love tonight to cancer. It came on all to sudden and she's gone from us tonight. She never got to meet our daughter in person. We never got out to visit one last time. We live too far from everyone and this just sucks. I'm angry and sad and feel helpless. She was a free spirit and I'm honored to have known her. She leaves behind her husband, twin sons (age 20) and daughter (age 23). All to young to be without their mother. So heartbreaking. So devastating. So life altering. I don't know how to even process this. She's too young. It's not fair. It's not right.

Karen, you were amazing, and will always be remembered fondly. I love you and will keep your memory close to my heart. Thank you for allowing me to know you. Thank you for your smile and good cheer. Thank you for being.

I hope you find peace now.

Rest in peace.