After midnight ramblings

In the evening I struggle to find sleep, and in the morning I struggle to wake up. How can I get this reversed??? This insomnia blows.

So how are you?

How am I? Okay, not okay.

My first post m/s AF has finally ended. My complications from the D&C sadly have not, so I'm still "recovering" and now on TTC hold, The BC (Birth Control) was great in getting the prolonged and overly heavy AF to end, but kind of frustrating to have to be on it. I know it's for the best, but still feels like I'm going the wrong way to TTC.

I was saying physically I'm healed, and still working on the emotional, but truly, that's really not the truth. I have gone back to work, but notice that the "pain" seems to return towards the afternoon, and my OB has prescribed me more percocet for the pain, which I can not take while working resulting in my still only working part time. I had hoped to be mostly full time starting today, but only made it to 2:30pm

My work has been incredibly cool about all of this, but I really am emotionally ready to be back to normal. Guess, I'm more emotionally healed then physically.

Still checking in with a therapist. Not sure how long that's going to continue.

IS my shopping therapy really helping? I am having a blast buying the perfect gifts for DD, but have truly gone overboard.

Enough clothes to revamp her fall/winter wardrobe including shoes, boots, slippers, etc.

Pillow Pet Unicorn from Grandma. Lots of new books to add to her library.

Belle Barbie, 2 my little ponies (hope I got the right ones) and some Strawberry Shortcake dolls including the apparently much desired Lemon Meringue.

Getting the running/balance bike this week most likely too. Now with all the clothes, and books, and costumes.... it's a bit out of hand and I've got to sort thru what's going to be birthday and what's going to be x-mas.

Seriously, I want to give this all to her. She so deserves it. It's been a rough summer for the family and she's mostly been great through out. But I also know logically, I need to go less on b-day and go big at x-mas. What's enough to keep a newly 4 year old happy??

Is her happiness key to my own? Is this still the hormones? BC hormones mixing in??

I'm confused about my feelings, and beyond overtired. So ready for the insomnia to go away.

Sorry for the rambles of an insomniac after midnight. Bwarsh.... after hours! lol.