Things were okay last night, a few tears shed and a veg out evening ensued. This morning, my stomach hurts. Then DH and I get in a fight over sex or his lack of getting sex from me. I'm so upset right now. I feel betrayed. I feel like just when I think he understands, he doesn't. I feel so alone right now.
I DOOOOOO want to be intimate with him. I even asked him to buy new condoms, the kind we both like. I am FERTILE at the moment and don't want to risk getting PG. We just can't for many many reasons. I want to ENJOY the sex too. Not just get him off. It's not fair. I hate feeling like this, I hate rejecting him, I hate that he presses when my awake child is in the next room watching cartoons, I hate that he sulks, and trys to make MEEEE feel like shit.
I wanted to just be in my numb self this week. And now I have this to deal with. My stomach still hurts, thank you so much ulcerative colitis, and now my heart hurts too.
So what a wonderfully crappy way to begin my day!
$&!@#$$&%*!%#@##%*&@!!!
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