I'm sad. Just sad. I want to be glad, but am stuck at sad.
I can't focus, not really, and I can't decide if I want to blank out to mindless TV, or if I want to see a tear jerker flick than brings on the tears.
Tonight my daughter got to go to Pizza Putt with her Dad giving me a break and allowing me some ME TIME this evening. It was great and terrible. I wanted to be with them, but am so lethargic and exhausted from just, well, being.
I feel like the only way I can get through, is to avoid, and just be numb. That's not healthy.
I'm anxious. When does that chill?
It's 2am on Saturday. I'm struggling to work out a plan for the day (Craig is grad schooling all day) and I'm struggling to work out a plan to return to work full time beginning Monday.
I think it's going to be too much (going to work) and I'm scared. I know we need me to go back. Maybe just this 1 week I can go half time? Got to check in with Craig on that, and the car situation.
Time for some sleep aids, again.
It's hard, I know. I've been there twice before getting pregnant with KT.
ReplyDeleteFor me I had to *force* myself to start moving forward. I had to get up and go to work, pushing through the tears and the exhaustion. If I stayed in bed it allowed me to dwell on the heartache.
A good therapist and some zoloft was also key for me. It gave me the added strength to get out of the very low spot and just enough of a push to start moving forward. Maybe that's not an option for you, but it sounds like you're teetering on depression.
No matter what, be kind to yourself. Big ((hugs)) from Idaho.