Saw the therapist today. Thankfully she no longer thinks depression and is happy to not push me to medicine aids. I'll give her another go next week, but will cont. to shop behind the scenes. Can you believe my session began with her venting/complaining about her DD? Excuse me, isn't this my dime and my time?
In general, I think what's going on with me is I'm just getting old and bruised up. I can apparently get pregnant, have 3 times now, just gets harder and harder to stay pregnant. Maybe the final answer is to just stop altogether. I need some concrete answers though. I hate all this... maybe there's still a chance, let's try x-y-z.
At least the bleeding chilled out, barely a trickle today.
weirdest AF I've ever had.
ETA: Around 5ish, I began having horrible cramps again, and a few hours later, gushing flow again. Huge purple clumps of bloody ick. It's gross, painful, and messy. I've never had a AF like this before.
Hopefully this is all miscarriage leftover and that's it, and this will ALL be over soon.
I hate being at work knowing all of this blood has to go somewhere. I'm terrified of bleeding through my tampon, pad, and clothes. It's just awful.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Update - still on hold!
Back from the OB. Bruise or whatever it is, is still there. ugh. Have to cont. to wait. Check my fluid levels in another month.
We're hoping to know more after the "meeting of the Dr's" Thu. We're apparently now on the agenda for the infertility specialist weekly staff meeting.
Great, a large scale meeting of the minds because what I have is so "rare" she's (my OB) not ready to make the call if we can TTC or not, and if not now, or not ever again. Maybe will have to have this thing drained, maybe not. She's never seen this before and so she wants to consult with the infertility specialists before telling me officially what the next step.
So for now, just try NOT to get PG at least one more cycle, and she'll have more info for me on Friday this week.
She also had them do a blood draw to make certain that the PG is all gone, and that this new bleeding is only AF. She's also worried because I'm losing so much blood, there may be additional cause for concern. (I'm going through a pad + Tampon every 1/2 - 1 hour).
Will know more after lab results back, probably later today I suspect.
So we're still in a waiting pattern and can't TTC this month.
At least I get one more month off of temping and all of that.
Oh, and I did ask if they knew the gender, but they didn't. Said the baby was too young to determine the sex, so I guess that's it. At least I won't think there is some answer in a file and I didn't know because I didn't ask. So I'm glad I asked.
We're hoping to know more after the "meeting of the Dr's" Thu. We're apparently now on the agenda for the infertility specialist weekly staff meeting.
Great, a large scale meeting of the minds because what I have is so "rare" she's (my OB) not ready to make the call if we can TTC or not, and if not now, or not ever again. Maybe will have to have this thing drained, maybe not. She's never seen this before and so she wants to consult with the infertility specialists before telling me officially what the next step.
So for now, just try NOT to get PG at least one more cycle, and she'll have more info for me on Friday this week.
She also had them do a blood draw to make certain that the PG is all gone, and that this new bleeding is only AF. She's also worried because I'm losing so much blood, there may be additional cause for concern. (I'm going through a pad + Tampon every 1/2 - 1 hour).
Will know more after lab results back, probably later today I suspect.
So we're still in a waiting pattern and can't TTC this month.
At least I get one more month off of temping and all of that.
Oh, and I did ask if they knew the gender, but they didn't. Said the baby was too young to determine the sex, so I guess that's it. At least I won't think there is some answer in a file and I didn't know because I didn't ask. So I'm glad I asked.
Monday, October 4, 2010
Sunday, October 3, 2010
And so it begins...
39 days after my D&C I finally started AF CD1 today, so now I can just move forward and start trying again, if that's what we're going to do. Still don't know all about that yet. Just glad my m/c cycle is finally over. I'm going in for a follow up u/s on Tuesday, which will be CD3. Hopefully we'll get an "all clear" from the OB and be good to go!
Friday, October 1, 2010
Citizen Cope - Sideways
Citizen Cope – Sideways
You know it ain't easy
For these thoughts here to leave me
There's no words to describe it
In French or in English
Cause, diamonds they fade
And flowers they bloom
And I'm telling you
These feelings won't go away
They've been knockin' me sideways
They've been knockin' me out, they
Whenever you come around me
These feelings won't go away
They've been knockin' me sideways
I keep thinking in a moment that, time will take them away
But these feelings won't go away... (slow music)
These feelings won't go away...
It ain't easy
For these thoughts here to leave me
there's no words to describe it
In French or in English
These diamonds they fade
And flowers they bloom
I'm telling you
These feelings won't go away
They've been knockin' me sideways
They've been knockin' me out, babe
Whenever you come around me
These feelings won't go away
They've been knockin' me sideways
I keep thinking any moment now
Time will take them away
These feelings won't go away
They've been knockin' me sideways
I keep thinking any moment now
Time will take them away
These feelings won't go away... (slow music)
These feelings won't go away...
The diamonds they fade
The flowers they bloom
I'm telling you
I'm telling you
The diamonds they fade
The flowers they bloom
I'm telling you
I'm telling you
These feelings won't go away
They've been knockin' me sideways
They've been knockin' me out babe
Whenever you come around me
These feelings won't go away
They've been knockin' me sideways
I keep thinking any moment now
Time will take them away...
(refrain out...)
You know it ain't easy
For these thoughts here to leave me
There's no words to describe it
In French or in English
Cause, diamonds they fade
And flowers they bloom
And I'm telling you
These feelings won't go away
They've been knockin' me sideways
They've been knockin' me out, they
Whenever you come around me
These feelings won't go away
They've been knockin' me sideways
I keep thinking in a moment that, time will take them away
But these feelings won't go away... (slow music)
These feelings won't go away...
It ain't easy
For these thoughts here to leave me
there's no words to describe it
In French or in English
These diamonds they fade
And flowers they bloom
I'm telling you
These feelings won't go away
They've been knockin' me sideways
They've been knockin' me out, babe
Whenever you come around me
These feelings won't go away
They've been knockin' me sideways
I keep thinking any moment now
Time will take them away
These feelings won't go away
They've been knockin' me sideways
I keep thinking any moment now
Time will take them away
These feelings won't go away... (slow music)
These feelings won't go away...
The diamonds they fade
The flowers they bloom
I'm telling you
I'm telling you
The diamonds they fade
The flowers they bloom
I'm telling you
I'm telling you
These feelings won't go away
They've been knockin' me sideways
They've been knockin' me out babe
Whenever you come around me
These feelings won't go away
They've been knockin' me sideways
I keep thinking any moment now
Time will take them away...
(refrain out...)
Remember to stop and pet the frog
Well things just have a way of working out. I did go with DH to look at the camera and it wasn't so terrible after all. :p Then we found out that the newer model with more bells and whistles is now just out and the same package price. So no brain'r here, we're getting the newer shinier model. Maybe even as soon as tomorrow. It's a nikon 3100 (I think). It's a huge camera, and a bit intimidating. Will be an adventure learning how to use it.
We had lunch together and I dropped him back at his office. Then I went to the mall and GOT MY HAIRCUT! Yes, I'm very excited. I've been complaining about it being too long since before I even got pregnant. I think it's been a year since my last cut. Yeah, that long.
I decided to pick up DD afterwards, around 3pm, and then went back to DH office. He drove us both back home (she's watching Angelina Ballerina) and he's off to a chiropractic apt that he's been putting off far too long too.
DD and I even got to see a real live frog on our walk, and my brave girl, with a little nudge, pet the frog. Me too.
I'm feeling in good spirits at the moment.
We had lunch together and I dropped him back at his office. Then I went to the mall and GOT MY HAIRCUT! Yes, I'm very excited. I've been complaining about it being too long since before I even got pregnant. I think it's been a year since my last cut. Yeah, that long.
I decided to pick up DD afterwards, around 3pm, and then went back to DH office. He drove us both back home (she's watching Angelina Ballerina) and he's off to a chiropractic apt that he's been putting off far too long too.
DD and I even got to see a real live frog on our walk, and my brave girl, with a little nudge, pet the frog. Me too.
I'm feeling in good spirits at the moment.
New Day, Fresh Start
New day always equals Fresh Start. It's pouring! I'm at the office, mostly on time (only 5 min late today, an improvement for 1 hr late yesterday) and got everyone to their destinations safe and sound. At lunch I have to accompany DH camera shopping (which I really don't want to do as I have NO interest, and will be happy with whatever he picks.) but it's important to him I go, so I shall go.
With any luck I'll get in a haircut this afternoon before having to get DH at the baby sitter, who informed me as I was dropping her off that she has a hair apt at 5pm, so needs me to get DD early.
Ummmm, excuse me, but if pick up time is 5p, why on earth would you make a hair apt for the same exact time? I swear I'm just sick of in home day care/babysitter's lately. So flaky.
Whatever, not going to let her sour my mood.
Since it's pouring cats and dogs, I'm not certain what we'll do for entertainment as I can't pick up DH until 5:30pm, and I'll have DD for an hour with me. I'm not going home just to turn around and go back out. We may end up just hanging out at his office until it's time to go.
Maybe I'll swing by McD and she can eat an "early" dinner at his work.
Yes, I'm making this all up as I go along...
Hope you all are having a nice Friday!!
With any luck I'll get in a haircut this afternoon before having to get DH at the baby sitter, who informed me as I was dropping her off that she has a hair apt at 5pm, so needs me to get DD early.
Ummmm, excuse me, but if pick up time is 5p, why on earth would you make a hair apt for the same exact time? I swear I'm just sick of in home day care/babysitter's lately. So flaky.
Whatever, not going to let her sour my mood.
Since it's pouring cats and dogs, I'm not certain what we'll do for entertainment as I can't pick up DH until 5:30pm, and I'll have DD for an hour with me. I'm not going home just to turn around and go back out. We may end up just hanging out at his office until it's time to go.
Maybe I'll swing by McD and she can eat an "early" dinner at his work.
Yes, I'm making this all up as I go along...
Hope you all are having a nice Friday!!
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