Freaking Out!!! aka Getting Screwed again!

Okay, NOW I'm panicking. Craig just found out that his company lied to him when he point blank asked (4 years ago) if they paid into Unemployment. They said yes, and told him today that they in fact do not pay into that as they are exempt being a non profit religious org. Crap! Even when I was laid off from the synagogue and ran into this, I at least had a severance to live off of. He's not getting anything!!! I'm so scared!!!!!! I just don't know what we're going to do??? We're contacting our lawyer to see if we can try to squeeze something out of them. Looks like it's going to get nasty really quick.

ETA:
We're well versed in the rules of Unemployment here in US and in our state. I was laid off from a religious non profit about 4 years ago when we first went through this hassle and at that time, DH checked with his employer (also a religious non profit) and they told him he'd get unemployment if ever laid off. Now another story!!! >:(

So yeah, we're not signing ANYTHING until we seek advice from our lawyers. Ugh. Can't believe we're back here again. So pissed off, stressed out, angry, scared.... you know all the fear of what if is happening and we're not ready for it. No real safety net. Blew through that fixing the car earlier this month, and even without that, it's just not enough to cover our minimal expenses.

I just don't know what we're going to do. I can say for certain that baby making is now off the table. Most likely forever now as my time window is quickly shutting on us.

This is not the sort of Halloween scare I wanted today. :(

Update to bitter sweet day aka Crap!

Craig lost his job today!!! Ok, laid off and with a month's notice, but still he/we are freaking out!!!

Also, a brutal day at my office today, as of my 3 co-workers were fired. Luckily I was not one of them, in fact I get to move (again) back to my old team. So happy to be back with my office friends and closer to my other department that I get to continue working in.

AND... looks like Baby making may be put on hold again, possibly permanently...

Hubby found out his job is ending November 30th. At least they gave him a month's notice, and it's a layoff so we'll get unemployment, but that's temporary and 1/2 his current pay so it still sucks. Trying to stay calm, but freaking out a little.

crap crap crap crap crap crap...........

Bitter Sweet Happy

Three of my co-workers were fired today for poor work performance. While I'm sad to see them go, as I really liked these people, I'm glad to see that work performance does matter here at my company afterall.

More bitter sweet news... I get to move back to my old Georgia/Iowa team. I loved it over there, but I get to go back now because one of the fired employees left a vacancy there.

Also mean I get to clean up the mess she's most likely left behind (hence the reason for her being fired in the first place).

I get to stay with a mini portfolio though and continue with my CORE dept. work, which I love, so all in all it's worked out for me.

I also get my old supervisor back, so no more buses to be thrown under! For that I am relieved. And I'm thrilled to be back with my old team/friends. I was mighty lonely here in Team IL.

Of course there are new knots in my stomach. Craig is meeting with the board pres. at his work right now. We don't know what about. I'm scared that they may try a lay off or salary reduction. Just scary times, with all these firings and layoffs. I hope we come out of all of this okay and just a little more focused on maintaining our job performances at peak levels.

There doesn't seem to be a lot available for new jobs, so I'm thankful that I'll be keeping mine and moving back to where I'd rather be. I pray Craig's meeting goes well and there is nothing to be stressed about.

I told Craig to call as soon as he could tell me something. Yikes!!!

All in all a good day for me, annoying that I have to pack up my desk and MOVE again, 3rd or 4th move in 2+ years... I'm losing count. Thrilled to be with my work friends again on a team/state I like to work with.

Take a deep breath! Now let it out... and repeat!

Happy Birthday to my beautiful 5 year old

Happy Birthday to my beautiful 5 year old. I know you're feeling icky today, but it's still your birthday, so let's DANCE! Then snuggle with hot cider. I love you Natalya. Have a wonderful year of being 5!!

http://youtu.be/veN2gyCEj8s

Last Day as a 4 year old

Tomorrow she turns "5" for "real life". ♥ ♥ ♥

First Year

Second Year

Third Year

Fourth Year

Fifth Year

No "real live" brother or sister tonight

Taly is in tears presently because she doesn't have a "real live" brother or sister to sleep with in her room. This has become a bigger issue over the past year and seems to have come to a full boil tonight. Craig is trying to comfort her now, and I'm feeling like such a huge failure because I can't stay pregnant and now can't seem to even get pregnant. I desperately want a sibling for her and another child for us. I'm feeling like I just can't do anything right.

Natalya's 5th Birthday Party Hootenanny

Survived the 5 year old birthday party. Everyone had a great time and I think we set the bar high for this years parties. Woot! Glad we pulled it off, and glad it's over. Just have to get through birthday snack on Tuesday then all done until Christmas. Phew was a lot of work. Going to enjoy having a light work week to recover I think.

P.S. Here's a link to the pics on my Facebook Page.
http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150362041004835.372169.603269834&type=1&l=11d8de4b71

Western 5th Birthday Party (before pics)

Getting all things ready for the Big Birthday Bash for my very soon to be 5 year old. We have a wonderful western theme, and Craig and I have even been making 'Stick' horses for the kids to keep. Yay. Here are a few BEFORE THE PARTY pics. I'm sure there will be tons of AFTER PARTY pics to post soon.

Fun with my kid.... COOOOOFFFFFFEEEEEEE!

Here's my "Coffee Mummy"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SPnhnx6abCs&feature=youtube_gdata_player

(when I get home tonight, I'll try to embed this... for now click the link and enjoy your giggle!)

Suck it AF

I was really hopeful, and doubtful at the same time. Why do the 2ww symptoms and early PG symptoms have to be the same?? I even wasted a test. Hate doing that.

So here I am CD 2. On the day AF arrived, I got 3 pregnancy announcements, and a total of 7 pregnancy announcements all last week. It's a bit too much for me. Think that's why maybe I was hopeful even thought the PMS signs were so obvious.

I hate that I can read my body so well, when I don't like the story it's telling.

With each failed cycle I feel a little more broken.

Sigh...... Probably why I'm so cranky lately. Just got to shake it off, and hug my family tighter each day, thanking god that I have them. How lonely life would be for me without my best friend and husband, and without ever knowing my daughter. Sure they both can drive me batty, but that makes me love them all that much more (when looking back, not necessarily in the moment...)

So strange to feel hopeful and hopeless at the same time.

My boobs hurt!

Really hurt. And my face - you could connect the dots on my face. Acne from hell. I am dying for chocolate. PMS from hell.

My "AF" should be starting in the next couple of days. That or I'm seriously hormonally mixed up.