From Fertility Friend to "The Other Side"

Fertility Friend has been a part of my life for 8 years. I've made real and true friends there over the years, but have noticed that Fertility Friend no longer wants to be friendly. I find that kind of sad. But like many things, maybe it's time to move on.

I won't be tracking my fertile cycles anymore. I've had my tubes tied. I'm done making babies. The best I can do is offer support and tips from my 8 years of experience. But if Fertility Friend wants to spank me for having the nerve to even mention a site like mealbaby.com or mealtrain.com to a new mommy to be with no family near her to help her when her baby comes, then I have trouble even offering support in a way modern technology allows us to do now.

Many of my Due in July mommy friends agreed and as such started a new group on Facebook. It's a private and secret group which makes us difficult to find and can only join if a "facebook friend" adds you to the group.

The group is called "FF Due in July 2012". It's only for the mommies that belonged to the Fertility Friend Due in July 2012 board.

I can not mention this on Fertility Friend. I've tried, and have been banned. To try again may result in a banning for life. Don't think at this point I'd miss it, but since I do still have 200+ days left on my membership, I'd rather let it run out on it's own then before hand. Allows me time to say my proper goodbyes.

If you want to be added to our new unrestricted on what you say, post, share, group you need to send me a Friend Request. Once I get it, I will accept you as a friend, add you to the group, then unfriend you to protect your privacy and mine as well.

Anyway on Facebook I can be found by cutting and pasting this link:

https://www.facebook.com/barbara.hammond.31

See you on the other side!!

-Barbara

Zachary Vurtis Hammond - Birth Story

Better late then never...

I'm finally getting around to typing this up and sharing with you all.

As most of you know, I had a scheduled c-section due to issues and concerns with my uterus and the scarring inside. On 7/11/12, at 39w1d, we went to the hospital to have Zachary.

We got checked in to Labor and Delivery. They had me change to a gown, and got started monitoring me and baby. Then they came in to put the IV in. That was challenging. Apparently I'm difficult to stick. Ended up having to have it in my right hand. Wasn't happy about that, since I'm right handed, but it was what it was.

Walked into the OR when they were ready and hopped up to the table. That's where they tried to get the epidural in me. Apparently the only place on my body that is "skinny" is my back and spine, so she had a lot of trouble getting the epi in. 4 attempts later she kind of got it in, and then we started on the spinal. Can I just say the epi and spinal actually hurt like hell and that was with the lidocane applied EACH time.

Finally laying down and DH comes in to join the fun. They had already started when he got in to the OR so he got quite a good look at my insides. Poor DH. More of me then he'd ever had wanted to see.

Well there was some complications. The scarring was really bad. Paper thin bad. So bad that they had to make additional cuts lower and in the process, scalpeled my son's forehead on his way out. (and yes there was a LOT of blood coming out of his forehead) I also lost a lot of blood and had to have a transfusion. My blood pressure got bad and I had a horrible headache. I felt like my head was going to pop off my neck and shoulders. The pounding pressure was awful. I also felt very nauseous out of the blue. So anesthesia pumped me full of more drugs.

I heard my OB mention a problem with my bladder. I heard my son cry. I couldn't see anything. DH left my side to be with my son. I had no idea how he was. No stats. I was left to wonder was he okay? How big was he? Did he want to meet me?

I nearly passed out. About 10-15 minutes later, I still hadn't been given my son. I was really upset. Crying like a little girl. They all probably thought I was just emotional. I was mad, and sad, and confused.

Then a nurse comes up and say's "Don't worry about his toe, it can be fixed". WHAT? What's wrong with his toe? This is how I first find out something is wrong??? More crying from me.

Finally DH comes back and tells me Zachary is perfect. The OR pediatricians wave goodbye to me and confirm my son is perfect. I still haven't seen him by the way.

DH sits with me, holds my hand and they finally bring me Zachary. But only briefly, then they go back to work on me. Zachary went into a warmer I guess, and I saw him again in my room/recovery. I had to insist on skin to skin and that I wanted to nurse him right away. I was really unaware how bad "I" was. I just wanted my son.

So they got us situated and finally I got my skin to skin with my boy and started to feed him. At least I tried. It was awkward. I was so sore and couldn't understand why. Shouldn't I be full of anesthesia?

The thing was, I was in the OR so long that the anesthesia actually wore off much sooner then I thought it should had. DD's c-section was over in 30 minutes. I was apparently in the OR with DS delivery over 2 hours. I had no clue.

I finally got a chance to look at his head wound. Lots of blood, but the nurse was able to clean him up, and it wasn't as bad as it first appeared. Head wounds bleed a lot. And his toe.... he has 11 toes. His big toe on his left foot is a double big toe. And yes, we will be getting it fixed.

After finally leaving recovery and moving to my room in maternity, my stress level began to come down. But man what a long day. Didn't get settled into my room until way past 6pm and my surgery was at 1pm.

After speaking with my OB afterwards, it turns out that having the c-section really was the right call. I had unusual scarring on my bladder and my uterus was a mess. The scarring left from my myomectomy was paper thin. No exaggeration. It's so bad that had I not had a tubal ligation (tubes tied) I'd be advised to never get PG again, as the chance of a uterus rupture is highly great.

I also developed pre-eclampsia postpartum. So my blood pressure went up and my headaches were terrible, among other things. And about a week after my staples were removed from my incision, I developed an infection. So I've been having a rough go all around.

Was it worth it??? Hell yes. Zachary is a beautiful, sweet, mellow, happy baby and he's in perfect health. Sure he has an extra toe... more to love right? We are all in love. He's a delight, and we couldn't be happier.

By the way, he was born at 2:26pm, Wednesday, 7/11/2012. He weighed 7 pounds, 13 ounces, and was 19.5 inches long.

I'm glad he's my last. I'm glad I will NEVER have to have a c-section again. I don't do c-sections well apparently and I'm happy to close that chapter forever.

We have an appointment scheduled with the orthopedic surgeon for Zach's toe the end of August and will go from there. We suspect he'll have a surgery to remove and reconstruct his foot sometime between 6 months and a year... basically before he starts walking or needs shoes for real.

My Body This Coming Week - Last Day!

My Body This Coming Week
Congratulations! You'll be a mommy very soon. You're about as big as you can get and you're also ready for your baby to be born.

Along with your pregnancy symptoms that may include discomfort, fatigue and Braxton Hicks contractions, you probably feel very excited, nervous and anxious about labor, childbirth and having a baby.

Your skin feels stretched and taut across your belly and it probably feels itchy. You may experience "pins and needles" in your legs.

If you haven't shown any symptoms of labor by week 42, your doctor or midwife may become concerned and may discuss inducing labor.

My Baby This Coming Week
Hooray! You're in your fortieth week of pregnancy and your baby is now due. Don't worry if you're still waiting as you due date passes. It's not unusual to still be waiting for your baby to be born since a normal pregnancy may last for up to another two weeks.

An average size baby now weighs about 7.5 lbs (3400g) and measures about 21.5 inches (50cm) long. Crown to rump measurement is about 14.8 to 15.2 inches (37 to 38cm). As you will see when your baby is born, these are averages only and vary from baby to baby. Your baby may weigh and measure more or less that this.

The presenting part is down in the lower portion of your uterus and pressing through your softened and partially opened cervix.

You may be surprised by the initial appearance of your baby when it is first born. Her head may be slightly misshapen from passing through the birth canal, though this usually does not last more than a day or two. Her coloring may initially appear bluish, purplish or pale yellow and she may be covered with vernix, blood, lanugo and some meconium if she passes her waste in utero. Her genitals may also be swollen due to high hormone levels that were passed from you during your pregnancy, and she may have some skin discolorations or spots which will probably fade quite quickly.

 

38w6d

Final Days.........

Not doing much today. My big outing is late this afternoon when I go to the lab to get a blood draw to match up transfusion blood - just in case.

I ordered some last minute items on Amazon this morning, which should arrive Wednesday. Some of the things are for Taly's activity bag, so I will need Craig to assemble that before bringing her over to the hospital on Thursday.

I should be in the hospital no less then 3 days with the range being 3-5. I was there 4.5 days with DD. So we'll see. Guessing I'll get to come home some time on Saturday.

I will try to update you guys from the hospital, but if not, for certain once I'm home and settled.

Any final guesses on how much he'll weigh in at??? I'm thinking 8.5 pounds and 22 inches. lol.

My Body This Coming Week

My Body This Coming Week
You surely feel very large and uncomfortable but you're almost at the end of your pregnancy! You can expect your weight to remain stable now. Your cervix will soften and begin to partially open. You may be having strong Braxton Hicks contractions as your uterus prepares to give birth to your baby! You're almost there!

My Baby This Coming Week
Your baby probably weighs just over 7 pounds (3250g) by now and measures about 14.4 inches (36cm) from crown to rump and has a total length of about 21.5 inches (48cm).

Your baby's lungs are the last part to develop before birth. Once the lungs are developed, your baby is ready for life outside the womb.

By now your baby has almost run out of space to move in your uterus.

Your baby has shed most of her lanugo, though she may still have some on her shoulders and in the creases of her body.

Her toenails reach the end of her toes.

The umbilical cord, which still is supplying your baby with nutrition as she gains more weight, may be knotted or wrapped around her.

Some of your antibodies have crossed the placental barrier and give your baby's immune system a boost to get her started until hers is fully functioning.

Your baby could be born any day now.

38w0d!

 

Miserable

This is a vent. A rant. A "my pg suckith" kind of post.

I am beyond frustrated. DH is "tired" because he worked all weekend. DD is in a crap mood because no matter what I do for her or arrange for her its not good enough.

DH and I just got in a fight because I asked him to get a load of laundry in. It's late. 9pm. We are just eating now. We are all tired. DD still needs a shower or bath At this Rate she wont be put down until 10pm! Her bedtime is 8:30pm

We have to do laundry though and he knows this as we have NO CLEAN UNDERWEAR, and he wouldn't let me do laundry today. DDs bathing suits are all covered in sand. I tried to clean by hand but it's not working. She has to have a clean suit for camp in the morning.

So my DH is burnt out. My DD is disappointed with me. I'm in horrible pain. I think everyone would be happier if I just disappeared. I'm just in the way and everyone is mad at me.

It's not my fault. I can't help it. I tried to be a good sport. DH and DD wanted to go to a movie tonight. DH got off work at 4pm. Got home with DD by 5pm. Movie started at 6:05pm. I've had diarrhea all day! But DD really wanted me to go. So I took Imodium, get changed and suck it up.

I was in a great deal of pain, but put on my smiley face.

After the movie (closer to 8pm now) DD gets pissy because I want to get home. We decide to pick up subway sandwiches. She's mad because we take it to go.

Then on the way home DH wants to stop and watch the sunset. So we park, and he and DD go out to see it. I stay in the car with a view of a bush. I can't see the sunset at all.

We don't get home until practically 9pm!! I still haven't eaten!!

DD is in such a sour mood. July 4 is going to suck. I'm dreading it already. DD is stuck home with me all say while DH has to work. I'm "boring" as she tells me. She acts like this is the new norm. She doesn't believe me when I tell her it's temporary. She doesn't believe me that I'm in pain.

I hate disappointing her. I hate that DH is overwhelmed and tired. I hate that I hurt so much. I hate all of this. And I don't know what else to do.

There is no one else to call and help. We are all alone out here. I'm miserable and think this was all selfish of me, wanting another kid. Because all its seemed to do is piss off my family. Something that should be joyous is making every mad and sad.

Nesting Nesting Nesting

Today has turned into a nesting day. Craig is at work and Taly is away on another play date, and since I'm suppose to take it easy.... hah hah hah... I've been getting some things ready.

We have a place to diaper/change the baby, and the baby now has a functional place to sleep. Yay.

Now I'm sorting through the clothes trying to find the bigger sizes... 0-3 as it seems I'm going to need those sooner then I anticipated.

10 days left!

BEFORE NESTING:

 

AFTER NESTING: