Miserable

This is a vent. A rant. A "my pg suckith" kind of post.

I am beyond frustrated. DH is "tired" because he worked all weekend. DD is in a crap mood because no matter what I do for her or arrange for her its not good enough.

DH and I just got in a fight because I asked him to get a load of laundry in. It's late. 9pm. We are just eating now. We are all tired. DD still needs a shower or bath At this Rate she wont be put down until 10pm! Her bedtime is 8:30pm

We have to do laundry though and he knows this as we have NO CLEAN UNDERWEAR, and he wouldn't let me do laundry today. DDs bathing suits are all covered in sand. I tried to clean by hand but it's not working. She has to have a clean suit for camp in the morning.

So my DH is burnt out. My DD is disappointed with me. I'm in horrible pain. I think everyone would be happier if I just disappeared. I'm just in the way and everyone is mad at me.

It's not my fault. I can't help it. I tried to be a good sport. DH and DD wanted to go to a movie tonight. DH got off work at 4pm. Got home with DD by 5pm. Movie started at 6:05pm. I've had diarrhea all day! But DD really wanted me to go. So I took Imodium, get changed and suck it up.

I was in a great deal of pain, but put on my smiley face.

After the movie (closer to 8pm now) DD gets pissy because I want to get home. We decide to pick up subway sandwiches. She's mad because we take it to go.

Then on the way home DH wants to stop and watch the sunset. So we park, and he and DD go out to see it. I stay in the car with a view of a bush. I can't see the sunset at all.

We don't get home until practically 9pm!! I still haven't eaten!!

DD is in such a sour mood. July 4 is going to suck. I'm dreading it already. DD is stuck home with me all say while DH has to work. I'm "boring" as she tells me. She acts like this is the new norm. She doesn't believe me when I tell her it's temporary. She doesn't believe me that I'm in pain.

I hate disappointing her. I hate that DH is overwhelmed and tired. I hate that I hurt so much. I hate all of this. And I don't know what else to do.

There is no one else to call and help. We are all alone out here. I'm miserable and think this was all selfish of me, wanting another kid. Because all its seemed to do is piss off my family. Something that should be joyous is making every mad and sad.