The Talk

Craig and I had "the talk" tonight. Taly fell asleep in the car on the way home, so we parked in the garage and chatted while she slept. Surreal. Anyway, he's worried about graduating from his MBA in February, finding a new and better job and hopefully moving us out of state and closer to family back west this summer. Compound all of this with the possibility of yet another pregnancy, possibly a failed PG, and or one we bring a baby home, in the summer, while we're moving cross country.

Of course none of this has happened and he's flipping out about "what if's". Yes his plan may occur, but as I told him, life just happens and you roll with it. He didn't fully agree to that statement.

He wants us to wait on TTC until he's landed the new job and this future move is over. My 37 year old brain is thinking by the time his plan plays out, it's too late. I feel that my uterus is already damaged and it may already be too late to carry another baby full term and bring home.

Then we talked about adoption, and I expressed my concerns that not great credit may be an adoption blocker for us. We also briefly discussed a surrogate.

IDK, we both agreed to table it for now. I did tell him I didn't want to go back on the BC pills, as I hate the way I feel on them. I also told him I didn't prefer to DTD with condoms. Just don't like the feel. That leaves temping for TTA. So as this cycle comes to an end, I will probably start back up with the temping so I will "sadly" know when we shouldn't be DTD.

I feel broken, and old.