19w2d

Missing my Alice Rose today. My pregnancy with her ended at 19w2d, which is where I was yesterday. It was a bitter sweet day for me. Sad to have lost her, but thrilled to be passing this hurdle with Hiccup who is still thriving and growing every day.

For those that don't remember what happened with Alice, here's a recap of her story:

Alice had a large cystic hygroma discovered at her 11 week u/s nt scan. After a CVS we knew she didn't have Downs or T13 or T18. We didn't know what caused it though. After more tests and scans she went from bad to worse. Her organs had hydrops basically large holes in her heart liver lungs and kidneys. We were told her chances of survival were slim.

She had not formed well and was now feeling pain in utero.

We had to terminate the pregnancy.

It was the worst thing I've ever had to do. We had the D&E at 19w2d. The autopsy did show that it was not a viable pregnancy. She had no chance of survival. If we had not terminated she would have either passed before my EDD or I'd be delivering a still born. And she'd had been in pain in utero during all of that. I couldn't have done that to her.

It was heart breaking.

Natalya was 2 years old during all of this. The pregnancy was terrible all the way through. Emotionally and physically. We did get pregnant again two years later, but I had a miscarriage at 8 weeks.

This is why I take this pregnancy one day at a time.

Whatever happens happens. So far it's been going well. I have no complaints and if we are truly lucky I will bring my son home.