Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Cried and Cried last night...

I'm getting quite overwhelmed these days. DH has moved out of our bed at nights cause my pregnancy pillows have taken over. Sure I'm sleeping slightly better, but I miss him.

I had to ask my father for financial aid to help with this baby's daycare costs coming up, and I lost it. The reality of DH still being out of work with $0 income is setting in. Our savings is just about gone, and soon I'm going to be on unpaid maternity leave.

We don't even know how we're going to make the rent! AND just found out the rent is going up $25 a month this July! I'm too PG to move right now, so we're having to stay put. I just don't know what we're going to do?

I'm getting WIC now and just filled out an application for food stamps! How did I get to this place? I have a degree, and DH has an MBA! We have skills! Why can't we get income?

I've been the rock for most of this pregnancy holding DH's hand and telling him it's all going to work out. He's lowered his expectations and is now even applying for retail jobs just to get something. But day after day rejection after rejection.

I'm terrified we're going to end up homeless and in a shelter. This is all madness and I don't know how to cope.

And then... crap.... baby is coming too! I just don't know what we're going to do, and honestly I'm terrified. With no family nearby, I feel so alone right now.

I know, no solutions here, just needed a place to vent I guess. Thanks if you read this far.

Maybe the next opportunity is a day away and this will all still work itself out. (Putting my rose colored glasses back on now...)

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