Wanted! Rock to hide under...

I wish there was a pill I could take to behave normally at this point. I'm watching a documentary about "Elmo". Yes, the red monster from sesame street and I'm crying my eyes out. I feel stupid.

Also, I'm cranky most of the time I'm home. Fine at the office, but at home I have no patience. Poor Natalya. She is starved for attention. What 5 year old isn't? But I'm tired, and sore, and not in the mood to play.

Her latest is to be contrary. It drives me nuts. Talk about finding a button of mine to push. Ugh.

I hate this. I know she is starving for attention, and she's going to do everything in her power to get it. Positive OR negative. I do try so hard to give her the positive attention, but I can snap so fast these days and go from sweet loving mom to mom-zilla.

I also hate that I can see this behavior in myself, but can't stop it. The hormones have completely taken over.

Can I just find a rock to hide under until this baby is out and life get's on to the new normal, what ever that is going to be??

Getting ready to Dump Cable!!!

We are making the switch this July. Mostly financial savings driven. We already have Netflix and Amazon Prime that we can stream through the blue ray dvd player in our room. Will be adding a Hulu+ subscription too this summer. And buy either a roku or another blue ray dvd player that is internet streaming ready to put on the living room TV.

I think between the 3 subscription services, we'll get to watch mostly everything we want. Hulu gives us the current network TV shows (CBS, ABC, FOX, NBC, etc. and I'm pretty sure we'll get cable shows from AMC, VH1, etc. too). Amazon Prime and Netflix gives us the movies and older shows. And for a small fee, you can buy to stream more recent shows like Breaking Bad, etc.

I will miss HBO. We're keeping it until the new season of Game of Thrones is over. I won't get to see the new season of True Blood (but will eventually be able to watch on DVD or stream from Amazon Prime), so it's not like I'll never see it.

I also won't get the local news networks for the evening news. But will have internet so can always just pop that up on a laptop. Or... read the newspaper again. seriously old school!

It's a big test to see if we can go forward without cable/satellite. I'm the one totally addicted to the TV, so if I can do it, I'd say anyone could.

Cost of service for Amazon Prime is $80/year; just under $7 a month. AND you get the free 2 day shipping, a lot of shows/movies for free, 12 free books a year via the Kindle Library too. We like the Prime for the diaper discounts too, so we'd have it regardless if we had cable or not.

Cost of service for Netflix "streaming only" - no dvd's- is $8/mo.

Cost of service for Hulu+ is also $8/mo.

Cost of a second Blue Ray DVD player... averaging around $40-$50 (one time purchase) Roku similarly priced.

Cost of only the internet service to run said devices and streaming would be $48.95 so say $50 for the same internet we already have (although may beef up the connection speed and need to still get quotes).

So we're looking at a total cost for this upcoming year of $922 or $77/mo on average.

My monthly cable bill presently is: $2724/year or $227.
My cable bill includes my internet, phone and TV.

I'd say $77/mo is much better than $227/mo and I anticipate if we kept the cable package since my 2 year deal expires this summer, that that monthly price would also go up significantly.

I also know if I drop my cable company for at least 3 months, I can re-negotiate a new customer package deal and get a better coming back on to it price if the experiment fails and we end up hating not having full access to TV.

I have to believe that we won't hate it. Seems like we won't have to go without much.

Today's 28w OB Apt - Some Notes...

So I had my OB apt this morning and brought up the questions about what possible complications could develop from having an Anterior Placenta and having a c-section delivery.

In most cases, it's not a big deal. Especially for a FTM that's never had any uterus scarring prior. So for the majority, just sit back and relax.

I didn't ask about the back labor because in my case, I won't be going into labor.

I had a scheduled c-section with DD due to her being frank breech. Then I had another uterus surgery in 2011 to get some masses removed from my uterus. So 2 uterus surgeries over the past 5 years, one of them in this past year.

So in my case... I have to have a c-section. It's medically required. I also have anterior placenta. At this time there is no way to tell where the placenta is in relation to the scars on my uterus which are now being stretched out further.

At my 20w u/s it didn't appear to be an issue, as no additional notes were taken regarding any of this.

At around 34w he will want to do another u/s and they will try to get a better look at the placenta location vs. my scars. IF they can see anything that is. Baby may just be too big and in the way to see.

So, when I have the c-section, most likely it'll be non eventful. However, if there is an issue and the placenta is attached funny and won't come out on it's own, I'll have to have a hysterectomy. If I begin to bleed out because the placenta is in the way and a scar tears, I'll have to have a hysterectomy and possible blood transfusion.

These are all worst case scenarios. But for me, I want to be prepared for all possible outcomes and hope for the best scenario.

But it's kind of an eye opener and talk about a possible game ending pregnancy.

As for the general OB apt....

I'm up 17 pounds total. Not great, but not terrible either. I just have to continue to be careful. I see more salads in my future, less ice cream.

My blood pressure is back down... 132/72 today, so that's a huge improvement. Therefore we're continuing to monitor, but won't need to go on BP meds at this time.

Heard Hiccup's HB, and it was strong and fast. But I didn't get the BPM this time. Always nice to hear him though.

Next apt in 3 weeks, not 2. That was a surprise, but also made me happy. Kind of get to hang on to the PG a little longer and it doesn't quite feel like it's the beginning of the end just yet for me. I'll have two apts 3 weeks apart, then back every 2 weeks.

28w0d Belly

Officially in my 3rd trimester as of today. Big belly and all. Can't believe Hiccup will be here in 11 weeks or LESS! Yikes and Wow, super exciting.

My Body This Coming Week

My Body This Coming Week
You are entering your third trimester now.

Your breasts may be leaking colostrum as your baby stimulates the production of the hormone prolactin. If you are not leaking colostrum, there is no need to worry at all about having a good supply of milk to feed your baby. Not everyone will leak colostrum before birth.

Your balance may be affected by your enlarged abdomen so you should be especially careful to avoid falling.

You may be feeling pressure on your diaphragm, liver, stomach and intestines as they are displaced by your growing baby.

Your total weight gain by this point is likely between 19 and 25 lbs (8.55 and 11.25kg). As your uterus puts pressure on your internal organs, including your bladder, you probably have to go to the bathroom more frequently.  

My Baby This Coming Week
Your baby now weighs about 2.7 lbs (1.2kg), measures about 10.4 inches (26cm) from crown to rump, and is around 16.7 inches (37cm) long. He is plumper and rounder, and his head and body are beginning to be in proportion.

Your baby now uses all of his senses. He can see, taste, recognize touch and the sound of your voice.

During the last trimester, your baby will receive antibodies from you through your placenta that will provide immunity from many diseases.

Your baby's adrenal glands are producing androgen-like substances. Androgens are normally male sex hormones, but in late pregnancy, when they reach the placenta they are turned into estrogen which in turn stimulates the production of prolactin in your body. Prolactin is the hormone needed for milk production. In this exchange, your baby is beginning to stimulate milk production in your breasts so that when he is born there will be food waiting for him.

Challenge Accepted! Natalya takes on the Ellen Dance Dare!

Here's Natalya successfully pulling off the "Ellen Dance Dare" at her pre-school. This is raw video footage. We'll need to remove the sound and add in music before sending it in to the Ellen DeGeneres show, but still it's too funny not to share. Best with the sound off for now. ;) Enjoy!

27w3d With My Kids!

Another beautiful morning in Vermont. Here's my 27 week bump photo. This time with my wonderful daughter, Natalya. :)

Saturday Night Live Clip (Royal Deluxe II)

And now for something silly regarding circumcision... An oldie but goodie...
http://www.imdb.com/video/hulu/vi3907977241/

To Bris or Not to Bris... a Follow-up

My feelings of being torn or more from my personal crossroads with my religion and the Jewish community where we currently live. I identify being Jewish. Born and Raised. But up here in Vermont, the community hasn't been as warm and welcoming as I remember from being a child. That said, my daughter has been in a Jewish preschool for the last 3 years and will continue with her Jewish education. She also has a Jewish/Hebrew name and had a naming ceremony when she was born.

Boys can have this too, but it has to be done a certain way for their ability to participate later on in life. Meaning I could do a hospital circumcision and naming ceremony later and if we all stayed in the reform denomination (where we currently are) that's enough.

If we go back to conservative... (which is what I grew up in) then we'd have to do a bris instead, which says the circumcision needs to be done on the 8th day of life, and the ceremony/prayers need to be said at the same time. The act of the circumcision is done the same, just the date and location is different.

And for us, the circumcision will only be done by a licensed/insured surgeon, NOT some random "mohel" who's had zero medical training (as in the article before mentioned).

DH is agnostic, and I'm Jewish and we've begun to raise our DD Jewish. So it makes sense that we would continue with our son. I think the options presented to us give me some peace of mind, and now I just need to find my spiritual connection and choose which will be best for all.

I think it's time to call my dad for a discussion.

The reason for being hesitant is more personal. I was working for the Jewish Community when we moved here, and was let go for stupid politics. I felt hurt, tossed out, knife in my back. But I was still Jewish, and being let go from a job shouldn't/didn't change that. My personal feelings for that specific (1) organization felt betrayed and as such I disconnected with them and immersed myself in another Jewish Organization. After my lay-off DH began to work at the "other" Jewish Organization. The same one that laid him off (again, politics) this past November.

We still are "affiliated" with them, but it's awkward. We remain friends with the Rabbi, and have been to some functions since the layoff. But emotionally it's hard to go back to a place that kicked you out. But they kicked out us "the employee" not the Jewish family. Even still it's been awkward.

So what to do... To do the bris the right way, it needs to happen by the 8th day. I know I will not be over my personal issues with this community by then, but know that when the time comes to be "over it" it'll be too late for my son, and I couldn't do that to him.

Also... this is only an issue here locally. I don't see this as a concern in a different community. And again, don't want to make it more difficult for my son down the road.

Therefore I do need to get him circumcised (never a question on having that done) once he's here and now just need to figure out if in the hospital or full traditional bris on his 8th day.

I know trying to understand another religion is a challenge and some times can be quite confusing. Here I am, Jewish 39 years and I still get confused.

Just another day in Pregnancy

waiting to see if my phone's going to ring today to let me know I failed my 1 hr GTT. Hoping it stays silent. ;)

Also, woke up with horrible abdominal cramps. felt awful. Curled up around my heating pad, and nearly called in sick.

Turns out... (TMI) :oops: it was just a case of "Big Poopy". I'm so embarrassed and poor DH, thought it was him again. (he wanted and tried to initiate DTD this morning)

Going to speak to my Rabbi today about a bris that I don't really want. Ugh. Kind of dreading it. Hoping he can make me feel better about all of this religion stuff. I want to give my son a Hebrew Name. I also want to have him circumcised (but in the hospital, not elsewhere) and that is the basis of the discussion today.

To Bris or Not to Bris

We think it's important for our son to have a Hebrew Name, as Natalya has one and to be fair he should too. But we can not do a Bris, or rather question whether we should do one. Honestly, we just can't afford it. Not just the cost of the bris, but the "oneg"/party meals and invited guests and big "to do". I'm the only one working, Craig is still looking, but nothing has turned up. We only have my income to rely on and when I have this baby in July I go onto unpaid maternity leave.

We're out of money come June if Craig hasn't picked up something by then.

I'm in a pickle. I need to see what can be done to help officially name my son.

We are planning to have our son circumcised at the hospital before we go home. Doing it this way, his procedure will be covered by our health insurance. I'd like to see if it'd be possible to do a private or small baby naming ceremony, or at least just get a name certificate for our boy. When we named Natalya, we did a very small private "ceremony" at our home with a few family friends and family who were in town for her birth. I was hoping to do something similar for our son. And if it couldn't be done in my home, maybe we could go to your office and do it there???

I'm not sure what to do. I'm honestly torn. I was so strong in my faith in the Jewish Community here in Burlington, but after what happened to me at OZ and now what has happened to Craig at TS, it's hard to be supportive as we both feel that we were tossed out and no longer welcome; at either synagogue. But, I also need to do what's right for my child, both children. Obviously prioritizing our family needs come first... food, clothes, shelter...

Being in this pickle, so to speak, is very difficult. It hurts my pride and my sense of obligation.

My Body This Coming Week

My Body This Coming Week
You are entering your third trimester now.

Most women have gained between 17 and 24 lbs (7.7 to 10.8 kg) by this time.

Your breasts may start to leak colostrum, the sticky, watery substance which comes before milk. This will be your baby's first food before your milk comes in a day or two after delivery.

You will probably visit your caregiver every two weeks from this point on. Your caregiver may perform a glucose tolerance test this week. If your early blood work revealed that you are Rh negative, your doctor may want to do an antibody test to determine if you have made antibodies to your baby's blood type to see if there is a risk of you having an immune reaction to your baby's blood. If this situation applies to you, ask your doctor for more information.

If you haven't already, you may begin to have vivid dreams about your baby. Braxton Hicks contractions will probably continue preparing your uterus for childbirth.

You may have red stretch marks on your belly and the veins on your breasts will likely have become more prominent.

My Baby This Coming Week
Your baby weighs about 2.5 lbs (1.1kg) and is about 10 inches (25cm) from crown to rump and 15.75 inches (35 cm) long from head to toe.

At this time, the baby has tastebuds which allow it to distinguish between sweet, sour and bitter tastes.

Brain tissue and brain development increases at this time as your baby grows the folds and grooves needed for a developed brain.

Eyebrows and eyelashes are probably present and the hair on your baby's head is growing longer.

Your baby's body is filling out, getting a bit fatter as fat deposition continues, but it is still somewhat red and wrinkled.

Your baby is big enough for his presentation to be determined. That is, your caregiver can probably tell how your baby is oriented in your uterus. He may be breech (bottom down) or head first. If your baby is in a breech position now, there is no need to worry as there is still plenty of room and time for your baby to change positions.

Your baby can feel pain and respond to it in the same way as a full term baby.

Boo Hoo!

I cry at everything. Yes even the Life Alert commercial. That poor lady; she fell and couldn't get up!! o-O

26w0d aka 98 days left to go!

Took a bump pic this morning... here's my favorite... my vantage point looking for my feet! And a side view...

My Body This Coming Week

My Body This Coming Week
The end of this week marks the end of your second trimester.

Regular weight gain will continue until about the 36th week of pregnancy. Your breasts may be sore and uncomfortably heavy since they have increased in size.

You can be susceptible to urinary tract infection from this stage onwards. Drinking plenty of water can help.

Your cholesterol levels may be elevated, though this is usually normal in late pregnancy as cholesterol helps build up the pregnancy hormones that are being produced by the placenta. Of those hormones, progesterone is particularly important right now as it aids breast development and the muscles of the uterus.


My Baby This Coming Week
Your baby weighs more than 2 lbs (1000g), measures 9.6 inches from crown to rump (24cm) and its total length is about 15.3 inches (34cm). If your baby were born now, she would have about an 85% chance of surviving. Nonetheless, your baby still needs another 13 weeks of in utero development to be considered full term.

Your baby's eyes, no longer fused shut, are now open.

Your baby's skin still has a very wrinkled appearance, but it is protected and nourished by the covering of vernix, a waxy coating that keeps the skin supple.

Your baby looks almost like a full term baby, but is still much thinner and smaller than she will be at birth.

Crazy Hormones!!

Was watching a comedy program last night. Something had me laughing so hard I had to excuse myself to pee. Then while in the bathroom I started uncontrollably sobbing. And I wasn't sad. This is all so weird!!!!

Sleepy = Have to Pee!

Last night was horrible. I was so tired, but every time I got sleepy, I had to get up to pee. This happened every 10-15 minutes. Was terrible. I probably should have just slept on the toilet!! Started around 10 pm and lasted until easily 3am. Every 15 minutes. It's no wonder I'm cranky this morning.

Now if you'll excuse me...


I have to go Pee!!!!!

25w0d Today!

My Body This Coming Week

My Body This Coming Week
You feel definite movement now as your baby does gymnastic routines in your uterus. This may even cause you some pain under your ribs and in your lower abdomen as your baby now has some force. Lying on your side may help to alleviate this kind of pain.

You may have fluid retention, particularly in the facial area.

The top of your uterus is now between your bellybutton and your ribcage.

Your increasing size may cause increasing discomfort. You might be experiencing back pain, leg cramps, headaches and pressure around your pelvic area.

My Baby This Coming Week
Your baby weighs just under 2 pounds (850g) and could possibly survive if delivered now. Your baby measures approximately 9.2 inches (23cm) from crown to rump.

He is growing fast and gaining weight now. His skin is less transparent and is becoming opaque as fat builds up.

Your baby's heart is beating 120 to 160 beats per minute, as you have already heard at several doctor or midwife visits.

Until now, your baby's eyes have been sealed shut, but he reopens them this week. The eyes are almost fully formed and the retinas contain all the layers they will have when your baby is born. Your baby's eyes are blue right now, no matter the ethnic origin or eye-color of you and your partner since eyes do not acquire their final color until months after birth.

Your baby is lean right now, but is getting fatter all the time as fat is being deposited. Your baby's skin is getting thicker and paler and is becoming less red and wrinkled as more fat is deposited.

Your baby has eyebrows, eyelashes and fingernails, though all are short and need to grow more.

Economic Stress Update

Craig told his mother that we are planning to stay. Craig also had a great interview on Monday and we're waiting to hear if he'll get a second interview, but it seems promising. Feeling a bit of the pressure beginning to release which I'm extremely thankful for.

Now that April is here, it's a very busy month. Just trying to keep my head above the water for now.