Thursday, April 19, 2012

To Bris or Not to Bris... a Follow-up

My feelings of being torn or more from my personal crossroads with my religion and the Jewish community where we currently live. I identify being Jewish. Born and Raised. But up here in Vermont, the community hasn't been as warm and welcoming as I remember from being a child. That said, my daughter has been in a Jewish preschool for the last 3 years and will continue with her Jewish education. She also has a Jewish/Hebrew name and had a naming ceremony when she was born.

Boys can have this too, but it has to be done a certain way for their ability to participate later on in life. Meaning I could do a hospital circumcision and naming ceremony later and if we all stayed in the reform denomination (where we currently are) that's enough.

If we go back to conservative... (which is what I grew up in) then we'd have to do a bris instead, which says the circumcision needs to be done on the 8th day of life, and the ceremony/prayers need to be said at the same time. The act of the circumcision is done the same, just the date and location is different.

And for us, the circumcision will only be done by a licensed/insured surgeon, NOT some random "mohel" who's had zero medical training (as in the article before mentioned).

DH is agnostic, and I'm Jewish and we've begun to raise our DD Jewish. So it makes sense that we would continue with our son. I think the options presented to us give me some peace of mind, and now I just need to find my spiritual connection and choose which will be best for all.

I think it's time to call my dad for a discussion.

The reason for being hesitant is more personal. I was working for the Jewish Community when we moved here, and was let go for stupid politics. I felt hurt, tossed out, knife in my back. But I was still Jewish, and being let go from a job shouldn't/didn't change that. My personal feelings for that specific (1) organization felt betrayed and as such I disconnected with them and immersed myself in another Jewish Organization. After my lay-off DH began to work at the "other" Jewish Organization. The same one that laid him off (again, politics) this past November.

We still are "affiliated" with them, but it's awkward. We remain friends with the Rabbi, and have been to some functions since the layoff. But emotionally it's hard to go back to a place that kicked you out. But they kicked out us "the employee" not the Jewish family. Even still it's been awkward.

So what to do... To do the bris the right way, it needs to happen by the 8th day. I know I will not be over my personal issues with this community by then, but know that when the time comes to be "over it" it'll be too late for my son, and I couldn't do that to him.

Also... this is only an issue here locally. I don't see this as a concern in a different community. And again, don't want to make it more difficult for my son down the road.

Therefore I do need to get him circumcised (never a question on having that done) once he's here and now just need to figure out if in the hospital or full traditional bris on his 8th day.

I know trying to understand another religion is a challenge and some times can be quite confusing. Here I am, Jewish 39 years and I still get confused.

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