Anxious

23 dpo today. Beginning to wonder... am I still pregnant? Should I pee on a stick. No Beta draw ordered, still have a week until the ultra sound. We're telling my in-laws today, guess I'm nervous and excited. Afraid I may jinx it, but know deep down that I'm still in the throws of all of this.

I'm so focused on "what I need to do today" and Craig is getting stressed out and overwhelmed about "what needs to be done by March". Poor husband. It's all too much to bear on one's shoulder alone. We talked, both feel better, and both realize we've sort of stepped into it. Like always, I know if we're meant to bring this bean home we'll make it work. We're a strong family.

I'm feeling the waves of m/s but (knock on wood) still haven't lost my lunch. Eating is interesting. I fill up pretty fast, and I'm hungry 5 min later. My regiment of unisom and b6 seems to be keeping the m/s under control. I'm pretty tired, and worn out by 4pm. Been falling asleep pretty early, but waking up at 1am to pee, and then having trouble getting back to sleep. How long is this going to last?

Don't know how keen Natalya is going to be about all of this. Her regression (potty training) is pretty severe, and we're having to restrict benefits, such as NO TV and NO SITTING ON THE FURNITURE. And last night... :( No bedtime story. It makes me sad, and I hate to be the punisher.

Craig hinted that she may be sharing her room... she didn't seem happy about that at all. Maybe the baby can have his/her own room? We have a 2 bedroom apt. Natalya's room is huge and there is plenty of room for 2 children to share. It's just the way it's going to have to be. It's going to really be a challenge, and with me so tired, I have to lean on Craig a lot right now.

Very grateful for my in-laws being here for a week. It's going to be great to visit and, well, frankly, have a little extra help around here. Maybe we'll actually get the rest of this stuff unpacked!

I'm so thankful for every moment I'm still pregnant. I'm embracing all of this, and trying to remain calm. Chaos ensues around me, and I have to just sit down and chill.

Should I get another HPT? Would seeing another BFP find me relief for worry? What if the test came back lighter? Would I freak out???

Need to keep it together...