Was going to go back to work this morning, but just couldn't bring myself to go. I think at this point it's more heart ache then tummy ache. (but yeah, still had the sharp pains)
I am still so hormonal, and feeling icky from everything. I feel like I've stepped out of my regular life and fear getting back into it. I'm also having EWCM so it seems that I'm ovulating again, which feels so sad. So wasteful and knowing that even if I caught that egg, it probably would end again in tragedy.
I wonder if I'd feel like this if it was all happening to me at age 27 instead of age 37? I'm just feeling like an old fat cow that needs to be put out to pasture. All of this at 37 really makes my odds crap, and makes me feel the fool for continuing to try.
I hope I can get out of this funk, and get back to being me. I like me and miss it.
Tomorrow is my 7th wedding anniversary, and Craig and I are planning to celebrate a little later on when we're both in a better place.
The plan is to recoup some $$ from my being out of work, and then get a babysitter and have a nice night out. We surely need one.
Regardless of my heart and hurt tomorrow... I WILL GO TO WORK!
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