We decided to include Natalya with this PG from early on, and that also meant including her in the loss, yet it's a hard concept for a 4 year old to grasp.
She still asks me about the baby, what happened to her, why isn't she still in my belly, etc. She also pretends to carry the baby (a ribbon bunched up in her hand) and says things like.... this is the baby, she died, I will protect her and keep her... It takes me back a step. I know she's just trying to understand death, but with it all so raw right now, it's hard not to cry.
We talked up her being a big sister and I feel like I broke a promise. I know it's not my fault, but I feel by losing the baby I let my DD down. I also don't yet know if/when I can get PG again, so I may not get the chance to make good on my promise of a sibling for her. That also breaks my already broken heart.
I think if/when I can get PG again, I would tell everyone I knew as soon as I knew, but I would wait to tell her as long as I could.
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