Saturday, August 28, 2010

How am I doing?

I guess I'm handling this loss better than last time since I've mentally suspected it wasn't going well since that 1st u/s. I still hoped and prayed I was being overly worried for no good reason, and hate that I was right.

I haven't really been around anyone IRL since we found out it was over, so I've been escaping to my TV and leaning a lot on Craig. Poor guy. I'm sure the grief is here, I'm just avoiding dealing with it.

At this point, I just want the physical pain to go away, have my one official normal cycle so we can get back to TTC. At least that's how I feel today. Tomorrow I may feel that there is no point in trying anymore since obviously it's not in the cards for me. Two back to back loses in a 2 year span of just trying to get a BFP in the first place. I don't know if I have the inner strength to carry on with this.

It's amazing how you can be so happy and so sad in a blink of an eye.

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